This the story of poor Linda
Who is fast approaching forty
Her appearance love might hinder
But she’s longing to be naughty.
She has gone to have her hair waved
With all-over body tan
Has her armpits and her legs shaved
But she still can’t find a man.
She goes on the 5/2 diet
Two days starving. Eating? (Don’t!)
But it’s much too hard to try it
And her will power? - well, it won’t.
So she tries a full Brazilian
Something wicked she must dare
Seeking one man in a million
To admire her lack of hair.
Then she hangs around a craft fair
Looking soulfully at art
She has heard you meet young men there
But they take her for a tart.
Now she learns that modern dating
Means you have to go online
Lose the problems she is hating
So that she can really shine.
Shows her photo, so alluring,
Chucks away those silly specs
“Early thirties,” (less maturing.)
Now for some exciting sex!
Puts herself about on Tinder
Hoping someone will Swipe Right
Surely someone will choose Linda.
And the future’s looking bright.
Yes, she’s met a man named Robbie!
Sounds her perfect dinner date
In a certain hotel lobby
That is where she’s told to wait.
Sitting there, a little portly
Waiting to impress her man
Bouffant hair and skirt cut shortly
Showing her St Tropez tan.
It is such a bustling lobby
Lots of men are passing by.
But there is no sign of Robbie -
Linda’s trying not to cry.
Some bells in her head are warning
Though her smile is still in place.
One hour later light is dawning
Meeting him will not take place.
I retired to the Cotswolds ten years ago after selling the retail business in North Wales which I had built up over forty long years. Fortunately for my sanity most of my time was spent creating advertising copy and promotions, which dramatically increased the business and taught me the power of words. Being a member of the Chippy Writers’ Group encouraged me to attempt a lifelong ambition to write a novel. Recently published, In the Shadow of Hitler is a romance set in the ruins of bombed-out Hamburg in 1946.... more